| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2006|12:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Hinder - "Better Than Me" | ] |
so i was thinking..
i know. it could be the fact that i had too much alcohol last night and up too early.. but i was thinking
its x-mas eve?
i was just thinking about my life a year ago. x-mas eve.... i usually remember things but when its a holiday its easier
things with my mom were good, we started talking again and i felt better about everything. i got into a college i wanted to go to and i was pretty much enjoying life
things have just down an alomst 360
the mom issues are brought back and i'm just wondering if we will ever put our issues aside and just be mother and daughter. sometimes i think its useless and i shouldnt bother. but its like shes my mom, you cant just do that, well i've been doing it for 3 years and it seemed to be working a little. i didnt turn out as fucked up as i imagined without a mother
my first semester of college did not go as planned either. i was seeing a guy from the same school going into it and then i realized i dont want a boyfriend. i wanted to find myself as corny as it sounds, but just be alone for awhile. but kinda in a way i wasnt alone, the girl across the hall will be the funniest story i will have in my life. i dont regret any of it, it changed me... for the better. it really did. i found things out about myself i had no idea where there. i cant imagine my life without that girl in it now.. no way. i guess things happen for a reason and i'm going to have to ride this out and see why she was brought into my life in such a weird way. but i dont know right now and i'm thinking that i'm going to stop trying to figure out why me and her have such a close relationship so quickly. i know it sounds corny again but this person was brought into my life for a reason and i just feel like a better person overall
right now its kind of shitty but i know, i just know everything happens for a reason
waiting is the only rough part.
so merry christmas! and happy new year.... lets hope 2007 is just as fucked as 2006! i knew 2006 would be crazy i mean last new years? haha |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2006|01:10 am] |
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and life is still messy. haha |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 7th, 2006|10:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Counting Crows- "Anna Begins" | ] |
ohhhh messy life :)
hahaha. what am i doing with myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2006|01:05 pm] |
so school is still going okay, well classes are okay. everything else is good. I havent skipped a class yet. go me. wanted to on friday since i was sick from thursday night, but i've been good. the only class i'm having trouble with is english. ew. so boring. but everything else i seem to be doing good and enjoying them for the most part.
well just a quick update
Em and Lauren are coming Friday for the weekend! i can't wait. feels like i havent seen them in forever, but its really only been like 2 weeks. This weekend is going to be amazing, can't wait. |
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| so college? |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|04:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jack's Mannequin- "Holiday For Real" | ] |
so i've been at Westfield for almost 2 weeks and it seems like its been longer. The first couple of days were rough but eventually i got over being homesick. i like my roommate which is good, i thought i wasnt going to cause i'm just annoying? haha so everything is good in that department. The girls across the hall are awesome and we spend most of our time together.
the parties have been awesome. Partying on a Tuesday night is always a favorite. going to UMass too so i can see everyone and party with them. so everything has been going good. classes are starting to get more involved and annoying, but luckily i only have 1 class on friday till 11:15, so thirsty thursdays are good to go.
going home tomorrow to get my car! i get to see my putangs and i can't wait, i miss them so much.
October 6 i'm going home again for the weekend and getting my hair cut, i'm debating side bangs, i've wanted them for awhile, dont know if should get them. any thoughts?
so thats all for now, just things have been okay and i'm meeting awesome people and everything seems to be slowly coming together. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2006|04:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Madonna- "Like A Prayer" | ] |
anytime i say the word "i'm leaving..." or "(insert friend's name here) is leaving" i get all teary eyed
whats wrong with me
i've been waiting for this moment forever
September 2, 2006: Ambition merges with powerful outside influences to have you gasping for air in the suddenly high-altitude mirages of the future. Take deep breaths, calm your mind, stick to your values and wait to see what happens. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2006|09:36 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Wreckers- "Leave The Pieces" | ] |
Keep in Mind This Month: Ch-ch-changes are in the wind, Aries. It's much easier if you choose to make them, rather than trying to hunker down and hold them off.
i never bought into that whole horoscope stuff, but i dont know, this one just seemed right for september.
i'm up way too early to go out to breakfast with my bestests and say goodbyes to 2 of them who leave tomorrow morning.. then saying goodbye at lauren's house saturday night and finally when rose comes over after. it doesnt seem real, at all. college?
it just seems weird and not real.. i'm just going to miss my putangs |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|09:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Cartel- "Burn This City" | ] |
saying goodbye was so much harder than i thought. i cant even describe the feeling i have today. seeing steph's room practically empty and the 5 of us dreading what we all knew was gonna happen. After a couple hours of talking, laughing, steph packing more right before she left, we parted. i dont think i have ever felt this low before. i told myself i wouldnt cry, i would hold it in. but the second she gave me that hug goodbye and said "i love you missa!" i just started balling.. which led to steph crying, then annie, then rose and then laura. we must have looked like idiots, but it doesnt matter. these people have been my family for years and we're all leaving. i just lost it today, we're moving forward and theres nothing any of us can do about it. i just pray that things wont be so different when we come back in October. i have to say goodbye 5 more times to people who mean the world to me. FAGS and putangs, i think at the end i'm going to be an emotional wreck.
hopefully it will get easier..
but i really dont think it will
And all the songs we used to sing, used to tell us everything.
Now we're left with, all we're left is memories.
But the better days behind us now.
We all need someone to tell us how
To save this state of where we are,
It keeps demanding more and more and more. |
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